Wednesday, 18 March 2009

The Search

Originally Posted - 22 April 2007

It was 1.10am as the car pulled slowly up the road, the woman examining each house with care, she had to be sure it was the right one. She slowed in front of several houses with low front walls; it was one of these, but which one? She selected the large detached with the low bush behind its wall; it looked the most familiar of the three having only briefly passed by before and in daylight. The house was in darkness, no sign of life, but she left the car and walked to the door, afraid she paused, knowing this was something she had to do but feeling nervous. Her trembling hand reached for the knocker and firmly rapped on the door. Stepping back slightly she surveyed the upstairs windows for a light or sign of movement, nothing. She glanced back towards the car, should she knock again? She had to. Four more firm raps and suddenly a deep voice from behind the door asked "Who is it?" Heart thumping, she swallowed, too late to wish she had waited a little longer and replied……."hello are you Sarah's parents?"

Ha! You all though this was a tale of fiction, a little glimpse into my sometimes sex-obsessed mind! Nah! Sorry folks!! this was me at 1.15 this morning trying to find my 17 year old daughter who's phone is blocked at the moment because she has not paid the bill (I cannot tell her off as mine is in much the same state at the moment!) and who went out at 5.30 to meet her friend Sarah to go out to the Noodle Bar to eat! Who promised her father she would contact him later so he could pick her up. Now it was 1.15 in the morning, so far the latest she had ever been out unless we knew she was stopping over somewhere. She was un-contactable. And quite frankly I was worried.

Yes I had picked the right house, yes it was Sarah's father that peeked round the door in his dressing gown and informed me that they weren't expecting Sarah home till around 2 as she had gone to Odyssey (a club in town where every 17 ends up at some point these days) and that after a quick phone call to Sarah told me that they were indeed in a taxi on their way home and would be there in about 10 minutes.

Now we have never ever stopped our daughter from doing or going anywhere. We have ferried her taxi style from home to parties, friends, pubs, boyfriends’ houses, 'nappy' nights at a club in town and any where else her little heart has desired. We have picked her up late, drunk, watched her snog a boy before climbing into car, we have taken various random friends home too and generally given her the freedom she has asked for. She is a good girl, overall and generally causes us very little concern at all except for her complete refusal to grow up and show any maturity what so ever, any responsible thought other than what she wants to do!

She makes plans, decides with friends what they are doing and then gives us a vague clue as to her whereabouts, telling us when she gets in trouble that despite the fact that we have never stopped her going anywhere, she was afraid to ask or tell us where she was going. I have always held the view that I would let her go even if it didn't have my total approval, as I would rather know where she was than her go behind my back, which I know teenagers do, I was one! I did the lies, the excuses, and the deceit. If she is allowed at least I know where she is. But no!

So her father has grounded her until she goes on holiday. This is the end of June. A long time. She is up and about now, showered and not talking to us, like it is somehow our fault and we are to blame, I know she understands that she was in the wrong, she didn't argue back when she was grounded for a start, a clear indication that she knows she was wrong.

Today I don't feel anger at her, only sadness and disappointment.

I will blog again later because I have lots more to tell you all too

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