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Originally Posted - 10 May 2007

Right this is my second attempt at this blog!! As I bulletined I spent half an hour writing heartfelt words into that stupid blog box only for it to disappear into the ether when I went to post it!! Now I know that any of you who write blogs have probably had this happen to you in the past but hey!...doesn't it piss you off! Hadn't the time the energy or the inclination to write it all again!

But hey it is gone 4 in the afternoon and I am here at the desk that I shall soon be vacating so I am skiving again and writing my blog!

I have returned from my holiday! I have had a wonderful week away with one of my oldest (as in been my friend a very long time) friends and her friends from where she now lives, none of whom I had ever met before so it was with a little apprehension that the holiday approached, but I have had a ball! I have laughed and giggled, chatted and walked, sunbathed, eaten, drank and swam. I am now golden brown and relaxed (and knackered – can't do so many late nights these days tho am proud to say that we out lasted the youngsters a couple of nights!!)

I think maybe I was hoping that during my week of escape and indulgence that I would be struck by some amazing revelation as to how my life should proceed on my return, you know like some divine moment when all would become clear, some life changing thought would make up my mind whether I should stay or whether I should spread my wings and go…….

But no…..nothing of the kind, instead I enjoyed the company of these lovely people who had welcomed me into their 'gang' and had a wonderful time. As the end of the week approached there were a few tummy turning moments, when the realization that I had to return to normality struck home but by the end of the week I was, frankly, too exhausted to give it an awful lot of thought! It’s tiring doing nothing but having fun!

The person I missed the most was my most special friend DB, it was quite bizarre that as we have never ever been closer than 123 miles that 2000 miles should feel any different but it did…it did big time and I craved contact with him. I have been asked by hubby not to have contact with him at weekends as this is his time and by and large this has been adhered to, but we both agree that the simple fact that we 'can't' contact each other just focuses our love, lust and need for each other and this holiday felt very much the same.

So I am glad to be back, I am working my final two weeks at work and as yet have no new job to go to, I have once again been honest with hubby and said I am not sure where we will be in 6 months time and the time I get to meet DB for real is drawing closer by the day……

So all in all I am fairly happy, I am cutting back on the happy pills and I feel strong and in control still…

I have also started my piggy bank ready for next years escape