Different Strokes

For better or worse I have decided to continue with my unravelling......
I have been home from my holiday over a week now and I did very much reconsider, but I do feel to a degree this is all part of the healing process for me, so I shall continue. Here goes....

Originally Posted - 24 Jan 2009

I have been reading some of the posts and blogs that have been posted here, some new, some older. Many from people far more experienced than me, some from people with less knowledge. But it has set my mind thinking and pondering and ruminating again with regard to my time spent here exploring, learning and meeting people.

I am very aware that we are all human beings and as such have every variety of human traits, strengths, weaknesses, issues and desires. It makes every single one of us as obviously different as our appearance. It means that we all have different opinions, standards and acceptances within our lives.

It makes me smile when there are posts from male submissives declaring that all we females are superior, stronger, wiser and the world should be organised to allow female supremacy, and while it is a lovely idea that all you mere males are inferior to me I know that isn’t so, but I try to respect another’s opinion and thoughts, if that’s the idea that thrills them, floats their boat then so be it.

Equally I have a hard time accepting that all men really do wish to be submissive and should learn to recognise this trait, that all women should want to take on the role of dominant partner, that it is just with education and guidance that all of man (and woman) kind can take on this kind of lifestyle.

Surely as members and visitors to a site such as this, we of all people should have a broader view that there are some who will never understand what we enjoy and explore, just as some of us (switches not included) could never contemplate being in a male dominated coupling, that it is different strokes for different folks and that there is no right or wrong way to conduct oneself, only that we respect another persons choices and preferences.

Each one of us attempts to find the right balance in our relationships, whether it is within a friendship, business partnership, marriage or family. I find that people often write things that seems to be made a great deal of because it is being referred to in a D/s scenario but that really is just as valid in any relationship that we find ourselves dealing with, that there has to be respect and trust and compromise in all circles.

The thing I find rather sad is that as a submissive many seem to accept what is on offer, that they don’t have the strength or experience or rapport to actually consider that their needs are important, it is not just about what is right, proper and good for the Domme, but also about what feels good and rewarding and satisfying for the sub too.

I am not talking purely sexual, any of us that have ‘played’ intensely with someone we care about will know that there is so much more to it than merely the sexual buzz although that of course is where much of this starts. It is like saying that making love is just sex, there is something so much more than just the physical when you truly make love with someone and the same can be said for play.

Of course I am well aware that some people need and crave this to be taken extremely seriously while others merely wish to dabble and have casual liaisons, again it is what makes us all so different, but I do think that is what makes it so important to make sure that whatever relationship you find yourself in your needs are met and matched.

I truly believe that while a man should be thrilled and proud to be accepted as a submissive by his Domme, that she should also be honoured that he gives himself to her. That without her he is isn't a sub, but equally without him she is no more a Domme than a wet lettuce leaf, that there has to be that mutual respect. But of course that is only my humble opinion and that as such should be humored and tolerated as any others.

It is no good judging and forming opinions on someone’s life and thoughts when deep down we know that it is our very human nature that leads to all the different make ups of human characters and personalities.