Thursday, 9 July 2009

The week That Was

Originally Posted - 25 April 2009

Well! What a week! I have had this last week off from work, no particular reason and not for any major get away or escape.

As I blogged earlier I had a couple of really relaxing indulgent days, simple pleasures such as my favourite breakfast and spending a morning with my Mum and Dad (whose flower beds are full of happy faced pansies - the non kinky variety)

I had lunch with my best friend and spent 2 afternoons relaxing in what has been glorious sunshine, getting the first layer of tan on my skin and some much needed feel-good factor of Vitamin D.

Then late Thursday afternoon while in my care and out in the car with me, MIL had a mini-stroke (a TIA) and as soon as we got back home I had to call for the paramedics. We ended up at the local hospital and as her blood pressure was dangerously high and was showing no signs of falling, she was admitted. The whole procedure of admittance, diagnosis, blood tests, ECG's etc and finally getting her transported to another hospital that specialises in Strokes/TIA's, we finally got to bed and sleep about 4am in the morning!

All my lovely relaxed and chilled-ness straight out the window

Her first full day on the ward (yesterday) was a nightmare. I was called out twice to go and 'deal' with her and calm her down as she was being agressive and confrontational with the nurses and was due to have an MRI scan which they were doubting she would co-operate for.

Her face lit up when she saw me arrive - until she realised I wasn't going to take her home and then she was nasty and viscious tongued with me. I don't like her when she is like this, I know it is not 'her', I know it is the dementia, I know she is confused and afraid but my own Mum is such a sweet gentle affectionate lady, I am not used to dealing with someone who is antagonistic, awkward and down-right rude at times! I felt for the poor nurses who were busy trying to care for many patients who had suffered such serious damage as to be mute, helpless and immobile and they had to waste time trying to calm down and herd-up MIL who was determined to get out and catch the bus home in her nightie! The good news to all this is that it is now formally recognised that she has dementia and the process of getting support and help with her has been put into motion. There just has to be a silver lining somewhere in all this!

Yesterday was exhausting!

I got home and sent out an SOS text to db telling him a little of my day and saying how I so missed his friendship. He rang me and we talked for not far off an hour. Caught up on all the news, told him all about MIL, we asked after each other children and shared updates on their well-being and lives, we told of work issues and successes, and forthcoming events we each are looking forward to. We laughed together and chatted and it felt good.

I am not sure of the sense of having conversations or contact with him, I didnt come off the phone and sob helplessly as I once did, we signed off with a friendly 'bye' and 'take care' and I was smiling as I put down the phone. I have tried very hard not to dwell on news he shared with me or analyse any of the things we spoke about, I have tried not to read between the lines or try and interpret what he may have meant by certain comments. But one thing is for sure I am so glad to have spoken to him.

And so I am to return to work on Monday not quite as refreshed as I had hoped to be earlier in the week, but certainly with an eventful week behind me.

1 comment:

  1. I don't envy you one bit having to cope with your mil. I had to deal with my fil who had dimentia, even though it wasn't really advanced or whatever the right term is. He went into a home and only lasted there 6 weeks. Unfortunately, we didn't get on. I hated the man and kind of stuck his aggression for 6 years.

    CJ xx