I read a blog today written by a lady that follows mine, Jean Maurie. She asked that if we could 'reset' our lives would we and if we did what would we do differently?
And it reminded me of a time a couple of years ago when my cousin and I were having a deep and soul-searching conversation about the state of her marriage. I of course, was happily knee deep in my extra-marital affair and happy as a pig in shit. So of course helping to sort out another persons misery and confusion all seems so simple, we're so good at dishing out advise aren't we but not so damn good at following it.
Her big dilemma was not knowing where the various options she had would lead her. "If only I knew they were the right decision" she lamented, "if only I could see that if I did X this would happen or if I decided on Y that would work"
Oh my moment of wisdom! Well you can't I retorted! What you have to do is think of it like a business plan.....Where do i want to be and how do I want to feel in 1 / 3 / 5 years? What do I have to do to get there. achieve that? And you make a conscious effort to take the first step in that direction, make the first move to get you at your end destination. Simple!
I remember telling 'lover' that and laughingly saying that it was easy to give the advise but that of course I couldnt take it myself, where I wanted to be was too complex, involved the decisions of too many others. Basically I wanted a chance at a life with him and I felt that wasn't my decision to make.
But Jean Mauries blog made me think back to this and now of course I am still in a confused and messy limbo-land. Maybe for once it is time to actually sit down and take note of my own 'sensible' advise.