Sunday, 14 March 2010

On Mothers Day

Today here in the UK it is Mothers Day. It is 7.46 am and 'Mother' is awake and consuming coffee and painkillers while my two darlings still sleep.
Gone are the days when they 'crept' into my bedroom, excited and giggling, with gifts and flowers and breakfast (with the help of Daddy) to clamber on my bed and snuggle beneath the duvet with cold little hands and feet and demand that I wake and wake now because they wanted to start 'making my day'!

Now they will probably sleep till at least 10am (dependant on what time they went to bed themselves last night!) and I will already be up dressed showered and going about my day. The gifts they will give will be more expensive, probably more useful but a little less precious than the things they offered as children (it was always hilarious to discover what they considered Mummy really wanted )
If my life had followed my dreams I probably wouldnt have been here. I would be waking up almost 200 miles away in a new home. But my dreams went awry.
Last Mothers Day I was still in a blur of pain and longing for what I felt I had lost. This year I am so glad to still be here sharing the daily lives of my two beautiful daughters, witnessing their emergence into young womanhood, still being part of their laughter, their tears, their successes and their concerns, I watch them grow and learn and am honoured to have my days woven into theirs.
We use the term to be 'madly' in love with someone. I was truly madly in love. The dictionary says of madly: insanely, desperately, foolishly and I guess that sums it up. I was 'madly' in love. My love was beyond reason and sense, there was no rationale to it, only need, desperation and desire. So today more than any other day I am happy to still be here, with my wonderful girls and my own fragile Mother.
Happy Mothers Day to all the ladies here and ooh I hear movement maybe I wont have to wait till 10am for my hugs and love and the sight of their gorgeous faces

1 comment:

  1. Aawh Denny, I've just read it all, and I feel for you, I really do. So much of what you said resonated with me. I hope we both get to be ahppy again xxx