I was chatting to a friend today, telling them about my impending visit to the marriage guidance counsellor tomorrow.....the self imposed period of no contact with 'K' (I guess after all this time I really ought to give him a name other that 'ex-lover', My Love and 'db' ~ so you can have his initial!)
My friend asked me among all the other soul searching bits if I remember being happy with hubby in the beginning. Of course I do I replied! "Would you marry 'K'?" came one of the next lines......Yes I said. "So you know him well then???"
And I thought about it a moment....
Yes I do, I know him, after not far off 4 years of contact, hours of conversation, thousands of written words and text messages and precious hours spent together, I know him as well if not better than I knew my husband after 9 months together when we bought our first home and then married him less than a year later!
Another query followed. "Where you as happy with 'K' as you were with hubby at the start?"
And I answered that with a line that is very telling...and I have pondered on much tonight.....
I answered, Yes I was as happy, they are 2 different things, hubby and I were in a young love, inventing a life, a home, a wedding and babies. 'K' and I were a grown up relationship based on what I love now, who I am now......
And that perhaps says an awful lot.......
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